Tips on preparing to leave for college
I spent this past weekend attending graduation parties for recent high school graduates and mingling with parents who, in a few short months, will be sending their first children off to college. As parents, we spend so much time in the preparation — putting away savings in 529 plans during elementary school for what seems at the time like a distant future, followed by years of supporting our children through the gauntlet of qualifying for, applying to, and selecting a college — that when graduation day finally arrives, we feel like we’re done! The reality, however, is … well, not quite yet.
Your student very likely already has the university-provided checklist well in hand, covering housing, orientation enrollment, class selection, and — most importantly — identifying cool roommates. Let them run with that. But dear parent, heed some well-worn advice on practical, parental to-dos to cover with your student over the summer before you leave them on move-in day:
Talk about money. If your student has never managed a budget, this is a perfect time to learn. Define your financial boundaries and responsibilities for school-year expenses. Determine who will pay tuition and housing bills, and discuss what constitutes “core” versus “discretionary” spending, as well as how your student will supplement expenses beyond a possible base allowance — perhaps by getting a campus job.
My own experience involved saving to cover tuition and housing expenses through 529 plans, and, beyond that, providing each of my sons with a year’s budget funded at the start of the academic year, meant to last the entire year — anything above and beyond was funded out of their own pockets.
Discuss a FERPA waiver. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal law enacted in 1974 that protects the privacy of student education records. It requires your student’s prior written consent before a university may disclose grades, transcripts, class schedules, and financial aid records to you. In other words, information you had unlimited access to when your student was in high school is no longer available to you once they reach college — without their explicit consent. FERPA waivers are available through the college or university and may even be signable online. Importantly, a FERPA waiver allows the student to selectively choose what types of information to share with their parents — it is not a blanket waiver — so your student retains meaningful control.
Have your student sign a HIPAA release form and a health care proxy. Once your student turns 18, they are legally recognized as an adult, and health care providers are bound by federal privacy laws under HIPAA, which prevent them from disclosing medical records or acting on your direction during an emergency without explicit legal authorization. A student who wants a parent to have access to medical records, lab results, and treatment plans must grant that authorization by signing a Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) release form. Additionally, if a student becomes incapacitated, a health care proxy must be in place for a parent to have standing to make medical decisions. These two steps are best taken when you are not already in a medical or emergency crisis.
Talk about mental health. The transition out of the home and into the independence of college life can be both emotional and stress-inducing. Normalize this possibility, and find out what academic, health, and mental health support services are available at your student’s school — where they are located and what they provide. Being familiar with these services in advance may help your student address academic or personal challenges before they escalate. Many students are reluctant to seek help because they fear it signals that they are struggling or unable to handle their responsibilities; knowing where to turn ahead of time lowers that barrier.
I experienced this firsthand when my son, who attended a university four hours from home, needed support services. I was relieved to have had a health care proxy in place, which allowed me to help him find the services he needed. Through that experience, he learned how to advocate for himself and navigate the system to get the help he deserved.
I call this the business of launching your student into college life. Taking care of these items in advance gives you, as a parent, genuine peace of mind — and gives your student the single-minded focus they need to embrace their new adventure, grow into adulthood, and create the lasting memories that college is all about.
About the Author:
Vivian Tsai is Managing Director and Head of Relationship Management for TIAA-CREF Tuition Financing, Inc. (TFI), a wholly owned subsidiary of TIAA. TFI operates as the 529 Plan Program Manager for the States of California, Colorado, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Washington and Wisconsin. She resides in California having parented her sons through California State Polytechnic University in San Luis Obispo and the University of California at Berkeley.